My journey from Tomboy to Activist: A entry guide to the issues effecting lesbians.
A personal journey through the golden era of lesbian visibility to today's struggles against gender ideology and erasure.
When I first spoke out, I had no clue about the real challenges facing lesbians today. Reflecting on Ellen DeGeneres coming out in the late '90s and the impact of Melissa Etheridge and Martina Navratilova, I had seen moments of progress in visibility and acceptance. Little did I know then how much more there was to uncover about the struggles lesbians face today. But lets rewind.
Growing up as a tomboy in London during the early '90s, my childhood was characterized by a blend of innocence and defiance. I was happiest in what would be referred to today as boys' clothes, engaging in what would be considered boys' activities, and playing with "boys' toys." My best friend was also a boy, and I had "boy ambitions" like growing up and becoming a wrestler, but none of that mattered in a pre-gender world.
My family, friends, and school never made my tomboyishness an issue, although I was often mistaken for a boy by strangers. Even as a child, I understood their confusion but dismissed it as ignorance, firmly believing that "girls can do whatever boys do." I never once questioned my gender identity or wished to be a boy. I think things would be very different now.
I remember vividly when Ellen DeGeneres publicly came out as a lesbian in the late '90s. It was a groundbreaking moment. Her talk show, "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," soon became a beacon for LGB visibility in mainstream media. Ellen's courage in coming out not only paved the way for greater acceptance but also highlighted the significance of representation on such a large platform.
Around the same time, singer-songwriter Melissa Etheridge, whom I was a fan of, came out as a lesbian. Her openness about her identity and her advocacy for LGB rights was inspiring. Seeing her embrace who she was and fight for our rights gave many of us hope and a sense of belonging. Melissa's openness and activism really helped make lesbians more visible and accepted in society.
By the year 2000, at the age of 16, I had come to terms with my sexual orientation. I fancied girls and it was ok, I had my first lesbian kiss, and I had found solace in a local LGB youth group. This group became a sanctuary where I met other teens, particularly bi and lesbian girls. We quickly formed a tight knit gang and along with them, I immersed myself in the vibrant LGB scene, forming my first relationships and attending a myriad of parties, clubs, pubs, and events throughout my late teens and early 20s.
These memories remind me of the progress we once made in lesbian visibility and acceptance. Progress that has not only stalled but is now actively going backwards. The early 2000s were in my opinion a golden era for lesbians. We had exclusive T.V programs, magazines, significant media representation, and role models.
In 2003, I felt a rush of real Pride when Martina Navratilova got the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Lifetime Achievement Award. As a lesbian professional tennis player, her career was amazing—59 major tennis titles, including 18 major singles titles (with 9 Wimbledon Singles Championships out of 12 finals), 31 major women's doubles titles, and 10 major mixed doubles titles. Martina's success and her openness about her sexuality made her a role model and showed what lesbians could achieve.
Turning this time among my friends gender ideology and trans issues were nonexistent in our discourse. We were unequivocally proud homosexuals. While homophobia still lingered in society, it had significantly waned, and we celebrated several landmark victories for LGB rights in the UK. It was a good time to be gay—a sweet spot between the blatant homophobia of the past and the woke homophobia of today.
These memories remind me of the progress we once made in lesbian visibility and acceptance. Progress that has not only stalled but is now actively going backwards.
As I grew older, my enthusiasm for the scene waned. The commercialization of Pride and the closure of beloved lesbian bars and clubs disenchanted me.
By the time the trans movement began to gain momentum, I had already distanced myself from the community therefore I cannot speak of the effect it had within.
However in 2015, when Caitlyn Jenner, who is a man, was named Woman of the Year, I remember discussing with friends how absurd and sexist it was, reinforcing my belief that Jenner would never be a woman. Back then, the term "trans" still held its traditional meaning of transsexual in my mind.
This is the same year that Stonewall, during the tenure of Ruth Hunt, now Baroness Hunt of Bethnal Green, who had previously worked at the Equality Challenge Unit, focusing on sexual orientation and gender identity equality, added the T.
Before then it had been Stonewall The Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Charity.
It wasn't until 2018, when friends convinced me to return to London Pride, that I realized the gravity of the changes within the community. That year, a group of lesbians staged a protest at Pride, sadly I missed it.
Later that day I met a friendly lesbian couple in their late teens or early twenties, we hung out in enjoying Pride chatting about all sorts of things from music, fashion, sports and everything in-between. I really liked these girls, I remember distinctly thinking “the young ones are ok” what little did I know.
It was these girls who as some point mentioned the protest. They referred to the protesters as "bigot TERFs filled with hate for trans people" and went on a rant that excluded any mention of lesbians or women. This was my first encounter with the term "TERF." The topic soon changed and I forgot all about it until the next day.
Curious as I am, I turned to Google and discovered that the protest was led by lesbians. I struggled to understand why lesbians would protest Pride, and why they faced such hostility from other LGB individuals. My journey to peaking had begun, My first stop led me to a podcast discussing the "cotton ceiling," a concept I had never heard of before.
I spent some time educating myself, as I think most TERFS do, and amazingly a few months after Pride I ran into the same young lesbian couple again. By the time I considered myself to be somewhat of a fledgling TERF, steadily claiming the ever higher peaks that come along with education ones self about gender ideology; however this encounter pulled back the curtain on for me so fast I could hear the “whoosh” it made.
By the time I meet these two girls again both had undergone mastectomies and no longer identified as women or lesbians; they now identified as gay men. I had seen these two happy vibrant confident young lesbians succumb to gender ideology completely and in real time. It was evident that they, and everyone around them seemed to believe in their new “authentic” breastless “gay” identity, and they seemed happy so who was I to question it?
Well, the TERF in me couldn’t glossy over the memory of meeting these two only a few months previously, we had hung out drinking, dancing and having a laugh. I had seen how happy and free there were, nothing about them had really changed since then; except now they had no breasts but claimed a “trans” identity.
These girls had clearly fallen into a cult. A cult which took their minds and then their bodies. For their sake I refuse to allow it to take my voice.
My resolve to speak out against gender ideology started that day.
And that's how I found myself in this fight.
When I first spoke out, I had no clue about the real challenges facing lesbians today. Reflecting on Ellen DeGeneres coming out in the late '90s and the impact of Melissa Etheridge and Martina Navratilova, I had seen moments of progress in visibility and acceptance. Little did I know then how much more there was to uncover about the struggles lesbians face today.
What am I fighting?, Well the global situation for lesbians is alarming an complex so lets start simple, the most crucial point I want everyone reading this to understand is that the LGB (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual) has no inherent connection to the T (Transgender). The LGB is about sexuality—same-sex attraction—while the T is about gender identity. This conflation has allowed the T to exploit the progress made by homosexual rights activists, forcing society to accept their demands under the guise of LGB rights. This has caused both “reputational damage” and active hostility, particularly towards lesbians.
As I said before, I felt acceptance was briefly achieved in the 1990s and early 2000s, but those days are gone. Today homophobia is back, spewed by men in masks hiding behind a cause with a pink and blue flag—a symbol of gender ideology that is, ironically, incredibly regressive.
This new discrimination forces lesbians to meet in secret and organize through underground networks, echoing the dark days of the '60s and '70s.
Much of the hostility comes from within the LGB community itself. Accusations of bigotry, transphobia and genital fetishist are openly directed at lesbians who refuse to accept men who say they are women as partners.
Even more concerning however, is the apparent shift within established LGB/T organizations like Stonewall. Once advocates for lesbians, these organizations now appear to contribute significantly to this hostility, and they have seemingly forgotten what a lesbian is.
To illiterate this fact id like to highlight Alex Drummond, a bearded man who identifies as a lesbian. Stonewall sent him into schools to speak to young people about what it means to be a lesbian
Former Stonewall CEO Nancy Kelly, herself a happily married lesbian , labeled lesbians "sexual racists" for not considering dating men who identify as lesbians. It was under Kelley’s leadership that Stonewall emphasized that a person's 'gender identity,' how they feel inside, matters more than their sex. They also updated terms like 'homosexual,' 'gay,' and 'lesbian' to describe 'same-gender' attraction instead of 'same-sex' attraction.
Lesbian magazines like Diva, which was a long time favorite of mine, ignore the conflict between lesbians who are same-sex attracted and the threat of gender ideology, which pushes the idea that a man can be a lesbian if his “gender identity” says so. DIVA now silence dissenting voices like mine on platforms like Twitter.
Healthline is an online publication which claims that they “cut through the confusion with straightforward, expert-reviewed, person-first experiences — all designed to help you make the best decisions for yourself and the people you love.” They published, what I consider to be a rafter confusing article written by Sian Ferguson headlined How Do Lesbians Have Sex? 28 Things to Know Before Your First Time. In this article they define lesbian sex as inclusive of penises.
Workshops like "Overcoming the Cotton Ceiling" have popped up to teach men who claim to be lesbians how to break down real lesbians' sexual boundaries. The term “cotton ceiling” was invented by transactivist Drew DeVeaux as a play on the more familiar term “glass ceiling”, which is the invisible barrier that stops women from moving up to higher positions in their careers. The cotton in “ The cotton Ceiling” being a reference to lesbians underwear.
Unbelievably, even lesbian dating apps like HER forbid users from stating that they only want to meet women. If you happen to say, so in your bio that you only want to talk to woman, you will soon be banned. What's worse is they have gone as far as harassing women on X (formerly Twitter) who object to or challenge this policy. As a result, many lesbians feel that their preferences and boundaries are being ignored and violated.
Some countries even have legal restrictions on lesbian gatherings, such as the case with LGB Alliance In Tasmania, where a ruling by Anti-Discrimination Commissioner Sarah Bolt prohibits lesbians from hosting single-sex spaces. LGB Alliance Tasmania, represented by Jessica Hoyle, sought legal permission to hold lesbian events excluding men who say they are lesbians, asserting that being lesbian is about same-sex attraction. Transforming Tasmania opposed this, arguing it denies the existence of “transwomen”. This decision sets a legal precedent affecting future cases, disregarding lesbians' rights to self-organize based on their sexual orientation and female sex.
The reclassification of heterosexual men as "lesbians" is another significant issue affecting lesbians. High-profile men like Jordan Gray, who stripped nude on live television and was praised for it. He claims to have once been a heterosexual man, but is now a lesbian. Men like him are taken seriously in todays post gender ideology world.
The situation in countries with self-ID laws are particularly dire. These laws allow men to enter women's spaces by simply declaring themselves as women. This intrusion affects healthcare, sports participation, and other women-only spaces, forcing lesbians to self-exclude. These laws also fundamentally undermine the concept of biological sex, threatening the very foundation of sexual orientation.
When it comes to gender Ideology lesbians have been firmly thrown under the bus, and the bus driver is a “Transwoman”
Nothing should illustrates the case more than the horrific murder of lesbian couple Charlotte Reed, Patricia Wright and their son Benny Diambu-Wright, by David Chester Warfield (aka Dana Rivers, a man who pretends to be a woman.)
The media barley cover it this story.
David(Dana) Rivers, was involved with a group called Camp Trans. They were a group of men who pretend to be women and held a annually protest outside MichFest, a women only Music Festival in Michigan, that was canceled in 2015 due to the trans inclusion controversy. Detectives in the case believed this is where Risers met his victims, who were regular attendees of the festival.
Jon Ronson's recent documentary about Michfest in 'Things Fell Apart' missed this crucial part of the story: This incident highlights why the women wanted to keep their event a safe space for women. This omission is quite shocking and undermines the entire content of the podcast. Ronson should address and correct this oversight.
Young lesbians today face a particularly challenging time. Those who struggles with their sexuality, something that is very common among same sex attracted people in their teens, plus those who may any suffer any mental health crises, will have these issues exacerbated by gender ideology. Especially when you consider the pressure it puts on gender-nonconforming girls - many of whom are lesbians - to adopt transgender identities. This is clearly evident with Ellen Page (aka Elliot page), whose attempt to “transition” has been widely publicized.
The rise of lesbian detransitioners highlights the lack of support for those navigating identity issues. Puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones are prescribed without consideration of long-term effects, leading to irreversible health problems. The removal of girls healthy breasts due gender identity issues has become so normalised that even Costa coffee feel comfortable using the image to sell their brand.
The Tavistock Clinic in the UK saw a 4000% increase in referrals of girls, 70% of whom had comorbidities like abuse and depression. Staff joked that they would be no gay kids left, highlighting a sinister aspect of the referral process, that sadly many these children had homophobic parents. “Transing the Gay away” is a very real practice, and it took place at The Tavistock Clinic. The Cass review revealed that 89% of affected girls were same-sex attracted, underscoring the dire situation for young lesbians today.
Contrary to what some say, there is no trans genocide happening. Transgender identities are widely promoted in media and supported by celebrities and institutions like the police. Civil rights groups defend absurd claims from men who pretend to be women. Despite this, organizations supporting same-sex attraction, like the LGB Alliance, constantly face attacks from transgender activists. Lesbian dating sites and magazines openly show hostility towards lesbians who don't conform to gender ideology. Men claiming to be lesbians are now included in lesbian spaces and events. Lesbians who reject gender ideology are physically attacked worldwide
If a genocide is happing to the “LGBTQI2+ community” its happing to the L not the T. Its happening to lesbians, we are being erased, our sexuality, spaces, rights, history, words and bodies are being sacrificed for the trans agenda. Lesbians mental and physical health worldwide is suffering due to pressures to transition, date men who identify as lesbians, and the constant gaslighting by organizations claiming to support them.
“we are being erased, our sexuality, spaces, rights, history, words and bodies are being sacrificed for the trans agenda”
So, to finish, what is it that I want? I want the everyone reading this to understand that lesbians are suffering in many ways. I want them to grasp that we have been abandoned by major LGB organizations that have shifted their advocacy away from sexual orientation towards gender identity, often to the detriment of lesbians. I want them to realize that our bodies are being experimented on by doctors with a God complex. I want them to recognize that the old joke of a 'lesbian trapped in a man's body' is, according to gender ideology and its followers, no longer a joke but a fact.
I want them to take notice of this modern-day homophobia affecting us. I want them to start speaking up and help us reclaim the spaces we created. I want them to assist us in building a supportive environment for future generations of lesbians, both in activism and beyond the confusion of gender ideology.
I admit this task feels overwhelming, with so many tough opponents: laws that erase sex distinctions, influential NGOs, Big Pharma, politicians who don't get it, schools that aren't safe, biased media, celebrities just posturing, and homophobia still going strong. But despite all this, lesbians, epically young lesbians, need us to step up. We've got to spread the word, push for better policies, and build safe spaces. It's the only way to start fixing things and making sure lesbians everywhere get the respect and support they deserve.
Back in 2018, when lesbians protested at London Pride and woke me up to the challenges we face, I never thought I'd be in the fight for our rights. But here I am, and if I can find a creative way to speak up, so can you. It's all about taking action and making waves.
So, how can you help create a safe world for lesbians? Think about what you're good at—whether it's writing, art, organizing, designing, or just talking. Do you have a venue they could use? Opening up your space for them to meet and hang out can make a huge difference. If you're in a position of influence, use it to push for real change and support lesbians. And don't forget about funding—knowing how to get grants and navigate the system can really help lesbian groups.
Listening to young lesbians is crucial. Their voices matter, and they're facing challenges we didn't have to deal with. As someone who's been around a bit longer, I know things were different when I was young. Gender identity wasn't even a thing back then. Young lesbians didn't face the same pressures, so it's important to guide and educate, but also to listen and learn from them. We need to bring together the wisdom of older lesbians with the fresh perspectives of the younger generation. Being creative and working together is key, and women are great at that. Let's empower young lesbians to lead, lets support their voices.
Whether you are lesbian, Gay, Bi or Heterosexual we're stronger together, so let's use our strengths to shine a light on these issues everywhere we can. Be it writing to politicians, joining campaigns, supporting groups, going to events, speaking out online, or just chatting with folks, we all have the power to make a difference.
Reflecting on my journey and the current global situation, all I want is for young lesbians today to have the same empowering experiences I had. I want them to have dedicated clubs, bars, and safe spaces where they can express their sexuality without shame or external pressure. I hope they embrace their bodies and resist the trend of unnecessary surgeries. It is crucial for them to know they can be happy and proud as lesbians.
Resources for lesbians
"I want them to take notice of this modern-day homophobia affecting us. I want them to start speaking up and help us reclaim the spaces we created. I want them to assist us in building a supportive environment for future generations of lesbians, both in activism and beyond the confusion of gender ideology."
Well, I could certainly make this a point in my music if you like.
I hear you and will continue to spread the word.